good to be seen

i am brave
i am making a home here
i decided to do a play and i made a play happen
i decided i liked it here
people are seeing me
why did it take me so long?
i was afraid
I was afraid to be embaressed

I am strong when...

I am strong.
I am strong. The mettle of which I am made.

met·tle  (ˈmedl/)

noun: mettle; plural noun: mettles; a person's ability to cope well with difficulties or to face a demanding situation in a spirited and resilient way.

synonyms: spirit, fortitude, strength of character, moral fiber, steel, determination, resolve, resolution, backbone, grit, true grit, courage, courageousness, bravery, valor, fearlessness, daring.      

The mettle of which I made. I didn't break. I din't kill myself despite repeated self messages over most of my life to off myself. To leave. To depart. To put an end to burden, the misery, the guilt and the shame. To end the self doubt.  

I went through it. I fought it. I fought for others to get through it. I opened doors for myself. I did for myself. Not always well and not as others might to or purport to do,but I did accomplish survival.  

Shield myself from toxic folks without striking out at them or letting them know they are toxic to me.