Today I want to acknowledge all that I have done in the last year or so to improve my health. This list is shorter than I list of things I SHOULD be doing, but it is a start. I now drink water. I drink water all day long, or unsweetened ice tea. The last diet pepsi and or Splenda I had was in February. Considering I was a 3 liter a day diet pepsi drinker, and used Splenda in coffee, ice tea, cereal, water with lime, everything really, that is a major change. I also take my medications as prescribed. And I have cut back on the pot smoking. There is an exercise bike in the living room, and yes I have ridden a few times. I have signed up for tai chi classes which start in September. Most of the food I eat now is organic, especially all the dairy products are organic. And white bread/rice is gone from my diet as well. My long tern goal is to be healthier, and no longer in need of many of the medications I now take. yesterday I started taking SAMe for depression and anxiety.
Now the whole time I am working on all this I am mindful of how class, image, self esteem, and identity play into my long term previous attempts and ultimate failures in changing how I live day to day. But now I ask myself, if not now then when? When will it be too late and I am a goner, or unable to work, no longer living paycheck to paycheck, but hey I am independent paycheck to paycheck.
If not now then when will I forgive myself for past Transgressions all but forgotten by the human race except myself?
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