sad hurts

I'm sad. Sad she is gone and I do miss her. She was kind, a nice person. Terribly insecure. That scared me. I need a partner who is self assured and kind. I need that confidence in self to feel safe with them. That's why I feel safe with certain folks, like Sarah. Complete trust.

I did the right thing for both of us.  I made a good decision. And I was fair to her. She doesn't see the world as a place capable of fair play. She sees Everything as rigged against her. She can't ever win, and its not her fault. But.....I did treat her well and with fairness, but she will not see it that way.

Now I reclaim my physical space this weekend, and get about taking better care of me. Find my way to my habits of persistence awaiting my return to their protection and wisdom. Going to gym is good self care practice. Now I have been isolating for too long. I cannot connect, which makes me feel more alone. I am not alone. I will be out and about with people this weekend and end my isolation and I will make friend dates to do things so I am not isolated..