I feel out on the ledge and that I am talking myself in so as not to end my life. I am overwhelmed by anxiety. My immediate response to almost anything is that something bad is going to happen. Something very bad. And it is my fault. I feel unappreciated at work and find the work only minimally rewarding. I feel trapped by my need for income and health insurance due to the diabetes and, high blood pressure, weight issues and PTSD. I feel misunderstood and unaccepted despite the many friends and family who love me, and believe in me.
The other side of that is I can do this. Don't quit. Meditate. Take your meds. Eat healthy. Exercise. Pull yourself up and out of this. You have resilience to it.
But it is never that easy.
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