Wednesday, November 18, 2015

doc visit

saw doc wyckoff yesterday.  Ive lost seven pounds. my sugars are lower. been going back to gym. havent been since last thursday almost a week. not good.

 but im making progress in the right direction

more relaxed ? am i? now im less stressed. i can feel less stressed and the self talk is all day long. its working. there might be a bit of a difference. maybe being less stressed is a way to get to more relaxed. because ive never felt relaxed. not that i can remember.

i believe it is the result of being on guard for so many years. being alert to every sound in the night. all those years that i listened for the sound of a car in a driveway. waking 20 minutes after falling asleep. listening for creaky sounds in the dark. what was that? is somebody there? is somebody coming ?  freeze. dont move.

there right there. i went from good news to the dark side in a second.

good news. I am doing better.


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