Positive Energy

I actually feel an energy that is new. I feel good. That's right I feel good for a combination of reasons and I feel bad for a combination of reasons. More good than more good thoughts than bad thoughts.

I am practicing vulnerability and resilience. One makes the other possible.

I really showed up for the Buffalo job interviews. I did everything I could, listened to every piece of advice, asked for support, asked for help, everybody knew....

So never have I failed in view of so many. Never, have I not gotten a job I interviewed for. Not getting the job is humbling. and builds character .. ;-)
But no one thinks less of me because I didn't get the offer.  I was supported, loved and cared for by my circle of friends. It was wonderful. Brought back to meditation.

It clarified things for me. Going through it, it was fun to think about the arts, and talk about the arts again. I am focused on departure from now to something new. I feel more opportunities than I had imagined. It felt like a reach and a challenge and that excited me.

Awakened old feelings. I reconnected with many Buffalo friends. That felt very special to me.

Resume, LinkedIn all updated. I have had a lot of intense practice in interviewing. I'm prepared for an opportunity to present itself. Universe treating me well lately, may it continue.

And I made a new friend, Dolah. I have been vetted, by the executive search firm, and they like me. They've promised to send me notice of anything they think I might be right for.

I have some decision fatigue that I need to recover from. I wrote today and may I write again tomorrow. May I write every day. Writing myself well. Writing my new self into existence. A self that is confident, resolved, committed to self care, motivated by love for self and others.
Meditating.   Grounding.  Responding differently. Choosing to respond differently.
Self care looks like this: Testing sugars, exercising, swimming, strength training. Taking meds as prescribed. Writing. Healthy food in house. Healthy food choices. No pot or wine. Eating less. Moving more. Presence. Spiritual. Creative. Connected. Engaged.

Creative. Connected. Enagaged.
Theatre. Self expression. Directing. As We Go On. Shines a light on my dark places.

Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.
 They can only be carried.

Nothing will ever change any of the facts of my life. Nothing will ever erase the memories.
They can only be carried.