Change

All this talk about change. I feel too old to change, too old too tired, the task beyond my energy. I made some changes this year.  I quit diet pepsi, splenda,  lexapro and welbrutin. Just feeling the feelings now. There are a lot of them. I cry every day at least twice a day. I am using food to change my low mood. I have gained weight and once again experienced that horrible shock when I saw a recent picture. omg i am fatter than ever. Older then ever. I am only getting fatter and older. Staying stuck in place. Doing what I have always done. Run for cover baby.