A very good morning. I have just started taking supplements as per Syndrome X/Food Mood, Jack Chellam's books by the same titles, and this morning my sugar was below 200. Eating less carbohydrates and more protein. Although five minutes is a small amount of time, for three days in a row, each day, I rode the exercise bike. I also walked out in the country yesterday, and today I made maybe 10/12 trips to and from my car. Last month walking from the car to house, was exhausting. Yesterday I did not take Byetta, and I still got a below 200 reading of 157. This weekend I have so much energy I have actually DONE more and started projects that have been sitting unattended for months-well really years. And I know we all have that, the oh yes I am going to get to that, but I have actually started in one two big ones. I definitely have more energy and a less foggy brain.
Let me count the changes, and yes I have done this before but it is important I cheer myself on, or continue to pat myself on the back for what I am doing.
Stopped drinking diet Pepsi
Stopped using Splenda or ingesting anything w/fake sugar
Started eating more organic foods, all of my at home dairy intake is organic now
Rode the bike three days in a row
Identified proper supplements, bought them, and started taking them
Lowered carb intake, increased protein intake
Weaned myself off Lexapro and Wellbutrin
No ice cream for seven days
I had lost all hope. I had felt so cynical about life and people and politics, and I felt or still feel like a great big failure and disappointment to myself. I heard on the radio that a person who has great regrets and guilt about their past and can see no future for themselves or are afraid of their future becomes suicidal. That was or maybe still is me.
Like a bug in jar that tries and tries to climb the sides of the jar but can never get out. This maybe the beginning of another big change, actually talking about my feelings of suicide. Anytime any therapist asked me if I had thoughts of suicide I said no. I lied. Said oh no, but sometimes I have strong feelings of not wanting to be here. I insisted that was different than wanting to off myself. Is that like a denial of suicide?
That's me, with diet after diet, book after book, therapist after therapist. The bug trying to get out of the jar.
But this morning when I read my sugar level I was happy with my accomplishment. It was a good morning.
No comments:
Post a Comment