hold on to let go

I feel trapped.

I don't want- but -do need my job. That car lease payment needs to happen every four weeks.

I am doing too much work. I work and then I work some more and bury my dreams

I gave up when i left home now 13 years ago

Friday Feb 26

Nice to come home to a clean home before the weekend. weekend has less chore in it. more space for me. maybe less stress. more pause. cook dinner for Audrey deliver dinner then just what i decide.

home
i have recreated my family home in every physical environment i have ever created.  big flowers. reds oranges brown tones and some sea green. old furniture. quilts. lamps. fresh flowers. when i look around tonight I see my mother's hall bureau in my bedroom holding some of her treasures. china. tea cups. tea pots, hot tea with sugar and cream, china girl. she loved china. had a lot of it. collected and displayed it. she really thought about her home and decorating it. truth be told she made two beautiful homes. art on the walls. clean and organized.
both had books and bookshelves. books and bookshelves. right there in the corner. my books and bookshelves.