My goal here at this blog is to find compassion towards myself. To loose my harsh self and become kinder to me. The natural course of that would be taking better care of myself, by eating healthy and exercising to have a healthy life, and avoid health risks associated with obesity, ptsd symptoms, hypertension, diabetes and depression. I believe that if I can make my body physically stronger, my spirit will heal along with my body in that process.

I wrote that 8 years ago, when I started this blog.

And I continue to work on those very issues. I always will.  Success right now seems out of reach especially with  my physical health. I will not give up. I will never give up. I will keep trying.  Start now again.

The time goes. It goes fast.

Self acceptance.

Dalton helped me with that. Self acceptance. I accept that I will always have to cope with, respond as best I can, be aware as much as possible that PTSD will always be present in my brain and my body memory.

For so long I had hoped and prayed that it could be, that I could cure it, make the movies in my head go away.. to heal...with food or pot or therapy or activism or EMDR or massage or acupuncture or journal writing or friendships or meditation or webinars or seminars or workshops or yoga or exercise.

The healing is an ongoing journey.

Self acceptance. Accepting the ptsd. Accepting me. That is where the healing begins.  I am not bad. I am not guilty. I am human. And like all  my brothers and sisters I have experienced life. some good some bad some very hurtful, damaging and traumatic.

Self love self acceptance.