surprise and delight

Last night was my 4th date with Maggie and it was an amazing experience. First in the hearth of her home-the kitchen-we sat across from one another at her kitchen table and talked.  We played with the dogs who seemed to encourage our dialogue and urge us to keep on doing what we were doing. We were able to be present for each other and communicate easily about fears and desires and dreams. I at times felt like I was a teenager back at Grier talking to a best friend after lights out and I was vulnerable and charged and at times I felt old and wise and calm and grounded. I was able to speak of all the "gold" in my cracks and what I have now as beauty and what I can give her because of those experiences. We continue to peel off our layers slowly, giving each other permission with every exposure to allow the look and accept the compassion and understanding. At dark, we moved outside to enjoy the cooler air, not cool because the heat here is still great but the temp had dropped considerably and a storm was moving in. We seemed drawn to the excitement of the storm which was matching the excitement between us and we simply stayed present with it and let it swirl around us. The dialogue continued as we watched the sky light up with lightning. I was solid and I was present. I explained my PTSD and its origins..but not as a victim explaining her pain but rather as a frank discussion about my response to it and how I manage it now. Her first question was "what can I do to help?"-- maybe the best response anyone could give someone. She is a good person. She told me that I make her happy, she is attracted to me,  and is not nervous but excited about what she will learn as we move forward into this vulnerable exchange of what can only be said is love.  Took the storm about an hour and half to move in and let loose with water. I left just as it was starting to pour. I was delighted with the entire evening and am excited ... and now less afraid.