week/end

kate and company this past weekend and i was exhausted until i slept nine hours last night

struggling still to manage my stress...which is off the chart at this point. sugars are high i am eating to calm down not to be healthy and my work outs are sporadic not consistent. i have achieved low sugars healthy eating and regular exercise which informs me that i can do it and feel better when i do.

still shaky. bought the four agreements and am reading. i am locking door on regular basis now. had a coffee date with a woman from ypsi. mixed feelings. something about her is a bit off for me. might be her anger which is absolute and has no room for compassion. seems trans inclusive for michfest but her fb implies she feels differently. makes me uncomfortable. and i don't see her being attentive to me = to the attention i would give her, if i was to continue seeing her. much of our politics in line with one another but not all.

tired at work and forcing myself to go. this is my last year at hrwc. i need something that excites me. that motivates me. my work there is obligatory.tasks are piling up and im not caring..im avoiding. that is difficult for me. time to seriously assess how to move out and forward. need less hetero patriarchal  normative.

projects i a m currently working on
dyke march buffalo
pear kenya
girls group
queer community center  a2 ypsi
ark show
racial equity philanthropy afp
accountability


and then there is me. working on me
brene brown workshop
dalton

the robbery is dominating my thoughts. the robbery of my ability to experience joy
ntozake shange gimme back my stuff keeps playing in my mind

• "somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff" – Lady in Green

The lady in green says that someone has taken all of her "stuff". She feels that she is the only one that knows and can appreciate the value of her stuff. She describes her stuff as the way she sits with her legs open sometimes, her chewed up fingernails, her rhythm, her voice, her talk, her "delicate leg and whimsical kiss".The person who stole her stuff is a man. She made too much room for this man who has run off with her stuff, especially because he doesn't even know that he has it. By the end of the monologue she demands her stuff back from this man.

 why did i make room for the man my brother who took my stuff and never really knew it?