first second third thoughts

dismiss my thoughts. hard for me to go with my first thought. I often change my mind and choose something else. this morning i followed through. I'll go to a coffee shop and write. Left the house directionless but found my way here.

feeling not as good as others that are present in my life.
feeling not good
tuesday i kept thinking about love
me coming from a place of love every day
making a morning promise that today i will operate from love
not fear or hatred

i promise myself that today i will make my intention about love
let go of my anger and fear
let go of thinking i have done something wrong
let go of my defensiveness
let go of reacting and make every effort to respond instead
dont anticipate what will be said but instead hear what is being said
this is particularly true at work and in  my dyke march work

i was reading about empaths
and then unlike other times i scrolled through the comment section and found a comment better than the original article
empaths are more aware of reading other's energy
when you smell something is rotten in denmark
when you know someone is phony before others
take it as an invitation to heal oneself
to clear whatever has hooked me and let my compassion and empathy
come into play
hang in and realize what is going on
have good boundaries
see that that person is suffering too

not wanting to be involved with someone who is fake
but do so with a different awareness
that comes from love
not oh my god or wtf
heal myself first

i am more vulnerable
allowing it after so many years with armor on
what was
no longer works
it did work for a long time
but now i see it no longer works