mud

please feel a responsibility for the energy you bring into this space

I am responsible for the energy i bring to work every day. i remind myself here, because it is difficult to change my thing on this. yesterday i woke up happy and then through the day little hooks got me down. i put too much into other people's opinions of me esp L my boss. the least little thing and i feel bad, no good, rotten or i did something wrong. and then im down about it. I like going home because it feels safe there. nobody to judge me. just me and the cats. that cannot be good for me. i am going out tonight with friends. and it's not like i completely isolate. but i do make efforts to preserve my alone time.  im suffering from anxiety and depression, and it feels sometimes like i am slugging through mud to keep going. self expression through art does lift me...dries the mud to dust and it blows away.