I'm home in Buffalo with Sarah and Carmen. Saw the family last night. I won't put quotes around it and allow genetics to influence me. My freedom derives from the fact that Sarah and Carmen are my family, and Kate's..as is Zoe Lorna Milk Rahwa RobbieTrish..
Reading Urvashi Vaid's new book. You know feeling of reading a new book and within the first few pages it feelings like coming home to your own intuitive feeling and lived experience? So much of life has affirmed by the books I have found in moments of self in a bookstore and now I guess online, when I find a book and read it and it transforms or inspires or saves me from isolation in my otherness as I experience it.
Seeing Rahwa pregnant made Sarah and I cry... both the joy of the coming baby and the acknowledgement of her and Milk's willingness to be courageous and have a child after the loss of Asa is by far one of the bravest acts of love I have ever personally witnessed...
Lorna looks good. Seems mos def buoyed by her new reconstructed breast!
Learned something about myself yesterday. With Lorna and I did not smoke pot. My original goal to come home and not smoke has been achieved so far but the lack of :numbness' in her presence definitely made me anxious and uncomfortable and I was flooded with emotions that normally I would have put some Teflon on by smoking pot. lesson learned.
Having wonderful conversations with Carmen about micro-aggression and race. It is a good down home feeling to be with Sarah and have uninterrupted and liberated unguarded conversations with her. I was able to have a conversation with Sarah about the race meeting last week..my not knowing how to be a white woman among white people.
feeling like I am breathing deeper...and without as much restriction.
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