Corrodes

Feeling better
and feeling the same
No pot all week. Eating healthier. Taking better care but have not quite regained what I have abandoned and am trying to get back. But making progress. Making an effort is important to acknowledge. Having compassion and understanding for myself is also important. I read a beautiful blog by Brene Brown. It rang so loud...

Shame diminishes our capacity for empathy.

Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.

Corrodes

That is what happens to me. My belief or faith in myself is corroded by my shame.

I define shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” Along with many other shame researchers, I’ve come to the conclusion that shame is much more likely to be the source of dangerous, destructive, and hurtful behaviors than it is to be the solution.

My hurtful behaviors are binge eating pot smoking and poor decisions on sexual partners

It is human nature  to want to feel affirmed and valued. When we experience shame, we feel disconnected and desperate for belonging and recognition.

This is me running into Laura's office for recognition. It might even be why I fundraise it comes with recognition. You recognize a donor, and gain recognition every time you bring in a dollar and you are making those who have give to those that have need. Like I have need,

It’s when we feel shame or the fear of shame that we are more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors, to attack or humiliate others....
Attack and humiliate others..I am guilty of that. That is me yelling at the telephone company or being difficult on the phone with tech support or with a clerk at plum because they have "offended" me with bad customer service.Guilt is better than shame so thanks Brene for teaching me. Guilt could help me change behaviors, Shame keeps me a non believer of change in myself and it hurts forever..every day.
The majority of shame researchers agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the difference between “I am bad” and “I did something bad.” Shame is about who we are, and guilt is about our behaviors.